i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
People in love make me want to vomit
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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