So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
i now understand why vodka
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
