Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
