What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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