i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
