What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
