She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
We don't watch enough power rangers
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
