Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
