No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i came on her dog
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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