So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
