Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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