Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
