ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
