She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
