Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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