So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
