...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
