everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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