How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
