hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I hope mine doesn't look like that
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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