He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
