that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Randomize
