turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
