party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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