She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
