My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
