Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
