What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
What drink are we having for lunch?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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