fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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