I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
