He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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