get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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