so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
