So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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