4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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