I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
