We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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