That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
