I would go down on you faster than GM stock
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Randomize
