physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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