so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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