I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
