Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
