remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
where does the pee come out of this thing
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
