I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I have aggressive nipples.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
