THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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