I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
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