Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I wish i was in the wii world.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
