Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
