I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
